How to calm down a cat while pet sitting

If you’ve ever had a cat who loved and trusted you, chances were the little cutie spent a good amount of their time cosily curled up on a windowsill, stretched out and belly up on the couch, or splayed over your lap while you were trying to type around them (I’m neither confirming nor denying that’s exactly how this article came to be).

Cats aren’t always this chill, though. In fact, cats can be rather sensitive creatures who’ll get upset over things you might not even realize can upset them – like their owner’s new perfume or hand lotion, a new piece of furniture, or a stranger staying in their familiar space. A stranger like you, the cat sitter. No matter how loving, caring, and friendly you are, if you’re pet sitting a cat who doesn’t know you yet, it might take a while for them to relax and start warming up to you.

To help you make the fur baby feel safe and comfy as fast as possible (which is certainly one of your pet sitter duties), though, we’ve put together this handy article on all things cat anxiety for you, including some great cat sitting tips.

 Understanding cat behaviour: anxiety, fear, and hyperactivity

A long time ago, before they spent most of their time sleeping, eating, and curling up on our laps, cats lived in the wild – and there they were hunters and prey alike. Some of those ancient cats were bold and brave and ventured out in the open without much of a worry. Others were very aware of the dangers that lurked all around them and understood that fear and anxiety can be very useful in staying safe from predators. You can probably guess which of the two groups survived long enough to evolve into the cute furballs cats are today.

Because of how cats used to live, fear and anxiety are literally programmed into them, and whenever they feel insecure, those ancient instincts kick in almost automatically. This is normal and has nothing to do with you being a bad cat sitter. It just means that, as a good cat sitter, you’ll have to know how to show the kitty that there is nothing to fear, after all.

Hyperactivity is also rather common in cats, but unlike fear and anxiety, it’s not so much a defensive instinct than an outlet for boredom. Cats are, by nature, very curious, smart, and good problem solvers. They love to explore their surroundings, to hunt, and to play with pretty much anything that looks interesting to them. Hence, cats who don’t get enough stimulus – especially indoor cats without a cat friend who are left alone for long periods every day – can get incredibly bored. And this boredom often leads to them seeming ‘hyperactive’, when they are really just trying to get rid of all that pent-up energy they can’t get rid of otherwise.

Along with hyperactivity, a stressed cat may also change their eating habits - fellow pet sitter @ffarooq shared this concern over on our community forum, and Kendall Schulz - Adoptions Services Director of Helen Woodward Animal Center was on hand to help.

“I’m pet sitting a one-year-old Ragdoll cat for a family member while they’re on vacation. The cat doesn’t seem very interested in eating his food, which consists of raw beef with some added ingredients. He’s playful but doesn’t have much of an appetite. Do you have any advice on how to handle this situation?” @ffarooq
“There’s a good chance the cat just misses their person. Sometimes cats respond in odd ways when they’re in mental or emotional distress. If the behaviour persists when the family member returns from vacation, they should see a veterinarian.” - Kendall Schulz

Physical pain can, of course, be another cause for stress and anxiety in cats. Going back to what we said about how cats evolved, in their feral days, it was also beneficial to them to be able to hide weakness. Nature is often cruel, and, unfortunately, visibly struggling with a broken bone or a hurt paw meant predators regarded them as easy prey – so cats became masters at hiding pain and injuries for as long as possible.

Whether the stress results from fear, anxiety, boredom, pain, or something else, however – a stressed kitty is an unhappy kitty, and as a loving, caring pet sitter, you’ll of course want for the feline in your care to feel as calm, happy, and healthy as can be. So, let’s start by taking a look at how to recognise anxiety and other stress symptoms in cats, before we’ll go a little deeper into how to calm a cat, generally and in certain situations.

Signs of stress in cats

Before you can try to figure out how to relax a cat, you first need to know that they are stressed and, ideally, also why they are stressed. While some stress symptoms in cats are very obvious – like hissing or growling –, others are much more subtle or even misleading. For example, a cat in pain might purr (usually a happy-cat gesture), in an attempt to comfort themselves, or to help heal broken bones, hurt joints, or torn tendons (the frequency of purring has actually been found to help with that!).

Here are some of the most common – obvious and subtle – signs of stress in cats:

Physical signs

• twitching tail
• tail held low and stiff
• hair standing up, especially on the back and tail
• ears pulled back
• eyes wide open and staring
• lethargy
• loss of appetite or overeating
• panting
• irregular use of litter box (peeing less/more, doesn’t defecate)
• vomiting
• diarrhoea
• bald patches on pelt (see nervous cleaning/licking)
• drooling/constant swallowing

Behavioural symptoms

• hiding/crouching
• tenseness
• hissing
• growling
• pawing at the stressor
• scratching & biting stressor
• purring if they’re hurt or in pain
• hyperactivity if they are bored
• scratching furniture, walls, or doors
• peeing & defecating outside their litter box
• excessive meowing
• nervous cleaning/licking (see bald patches on pelt)

All these signs can be symptoms of stress, they could, however, also point to the cat needing medical attention. If in doubt, better be safe than sorry and let the cat be checked by a vet. And don’t forget: as a TrustedHousesitters pet sitter, you also have free 24/7 access to a team of professional veterinary experts while on a sit.

10 Helpful ways to calm your cat or a cat you’re sitting

Now that you know how to recognise stress in cats, let’s find out how to help the cat relax. Here are ten things you can try:

1. Take it slowly

Cats feel safe whenever they feel in control, so never pressure a cat that’s already anxious or scared to do something they don’t have to. Stay close to the cat to let them get used to you, but don’t invade their space, and then let them come to you. Once they dare approach you, don’t touch them right away. Let them get used to your smell and voice first, then carefully start gently petting the kitty’s head with two or three fingers. Don’t overdo it and only give them a couple rubs at a time. With time, you can work your way towards their neck and back, and maybe even proper cuddling. Never pick a cat up unless they’re familiar with you and trust you, and never try to restrain a cat unless you have to (for example, when you need to take them to the vet).

2. Cat-smile at them

Cats ‘smile’ by slowly closing their eyes, either partially or completely. Closing their eyes is a sign of trust as it makes them vulnerable. If you look at your cat and slowly close your eyes the way they would, it therefore signals them that this is a safe space and that they have nothing to fear from you. If your cat initiates the smile, always reciprocate to build trust.

3. Play with them

Cats among themselves bond by playing with each other, and you can bond with your kitty the same way. If the cat is still wary of you, start with cat toys that don’t require them to be too close to you, like a laser pointer or a little throwing toy they can chase after. Some cats will even bring the toy back to you so you can play fetch with them like you would with a dog.

4. Give them treats

Cats love yummy treats – and people who give them treats can’t be all that bad, right? Once you’ve built a little trust with your new feline friend, you can try and give them some especially delicious treats. Start by carefully tossing them in their direction, then continue by slowly placing them in front of them, and then finally offer them some in your open palm.

5. Take a nap together

Showing your cat you trust them and is a great way to signal them that they are safe and that you are no danger to them – and there is no better way to do so than to take a nap right next to them. So, lie down on the couch in the room they are hiding in or leave your bedroom door open when you’re in bed, and then snooze a couple hours, calmly reassured that it’s really for the best.

6. Create safe spaces

Why do cats love boxes, windowsills, and high shelves? Well, it's because cats love to hide in places where they are hidden but can watch what’s going on around them. So, if you’re wondering how to relax a scared cat, another thing to try is to buy them a cat tree with a cat house or platform up high, or to simply put some cat beds or even just empty cardboard boxes on the floor. For additional comfort, you can put a blanket with the cat’s or the cat owner’s smell on it in the bed or box. This last trick is especially useful if the cat is anxious because you recently moved or because their humans are gone and left them with you, a stranger with an unfamiliar scent.

7. Check their litter boxes

Felines are very clean creatures, and if there’s something ‘wrong’ with their litter boxes, they will rather go find their own spot to relieve themselves than use those nasty boxes. First off, cats like to separate their business, which means that even if you only have one cat, you should provide at least two litter boxes in two different rooms. If your space doesn’t allow for that, you can try with one first, but if your cat keeps peeing or pooping in other places, it’s time to accept that putting up a second litter box might be the better solution after all. For several cats, the general rule is to have at least the number of cats plus one litter box in your home, and litter boxes should never be placed too close to the cats’ food and water bowls. Secondly, be sure to clean the box out several times a day, ideally, by using a special litter scoop in combination with clump litter. Some kitties will refuse to use their litter box unless it’s completely scooped out. And lastly, keep in mind that not every cat likes every kind of litter. If your cat refuses to use its litter box, try using a different one and see if anything changes.

8. Play soft music or turn on the TV

If your cat is anxious or scared because there are unfamiliar sounds they can hear – for example during a thunderstorm or because one of your neighbours is hammering away in their flat –, drowning them out with familiar and/or non-threatening sounds might help. Soft music or white noise can also help relax a stressed cat in general.

9. Use pheromones

When cats have kittens, they produce special pheromones that calm the little ones, make them feel safe, and help them bond with the cat mommy and each other. Different products, like Feliway spray and diffusers, use synthetic versions of these pheromones to help stressed cats relax or get along better with other pets in the house. Pheromones are a great, low-impact way to make your cat feel safer, and since humans can’t perceive them, you don’t have to worry about weird smells or other side effects on yourself, either.

10. Consider medication

If nothing else works or if the cat’s stress levels are through the roof, you can also consider giving them special medications that will help relax them. Careful, though: this should only be used in emergencies and as a last resort, and always consult with the owner and a vet beforehand and strictly follow the vet’s instructions on how to apply/administer them!

How to Calm a Cat at Night

It’s 3am, you’re trying to get some shut-eye, and the cat just won’t stop romping around, scratching your door, and yowling as loud as they can. Sounds familiar? Then you’re probably thinking, “How to make my cat relax so I can finally get some sleep?”

While humans love a good night’s sleep, cats are nocturnal and would rather use the dark hours of the day to hunt and play. If there aren’t enough things to chase around or play with, however, the kitty will get bored pretty quickly and resort to trying to get to you for some playtime together or, at the very least, try to turn everything in their reach into a toy or scratch pole.

The easiest way to calm a cat at night therefore is to simply make sure it has enough toys and things to engage with: (quiet) ball tracks, soft mouse toys, kibble mazes, scratch boards, or even everyday items such as empty TP rolls or bottle caps make for fun toys that will keep your cat happily active – and thus hopefully reasonably calm and quiet during the night.

How to Calm a Cat in the Car

Driving can be rather stressful for cats but, unfortunately, often can’t be avoided. To make the time in the car as comfortable and non-scary as possible for the kitty, there are a few things you can do, though:

1. Put a blanket with the cat’s scent or some of the owner’s worn clothes in the carrier
2. Give them a small toy, like a plush mouse or a little ball
3. Bring some kibble and feed it to them piece by piece to distract them
4. Talk to your cat during the drive
5. Pet the cat through the carrier door or lid
6. Turn on relaxing music to drown out traffic and other unfamiliar noises
7. Spray the carrier with pheromone spray before putting the cat in it
8. Consider going with a second person so they can pay full attention to the cat during the drive
9. Put a blanket over the carrier to make the cat feel safer
10. Administer calming medications (only in extreme cases, and after consulting the owner and a vet)

As a pet sitter, knowing how to relax a stressed cat is key, and we hope our article gave you all the info you need to feel confident you now do. No matter how much you know about creating a calming, cat-friendly environment though, never hesitate to ask the cat’s owner for tips specific to their fur baby before you start or sit, or to contact them during your sit should anything seem amiss. Also, don’t forget that, as a TrustedHousesitters pet sitter, you have free 24/7 access to a team of veterinary experts every time you’re on a sit.

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