Are male cats more affectionate than female cats?

Updated 04/10/2024

We’re jumping straight into this one, pet people, it’s too big of a question to dilly-dally with an introduction. Are male cats more affectionate than female cats? There, we asked it! This conundrum has caused many a catfight between feline fanatics and kitty carers around the globe. The debate of male vs female cats may never be fully resolved, but we want to give it a go…

Can gender have a significant impact on a cat’s personality? Or are we making a big deal out of nothing, crying over spilled milk? While a bird in the paws is worth more than two in the bush, we want to find out whether there’s any truth behind one sex being more cuddly than another, or are there some truths and furry facts out there to prove otherwise?

Male vs female cats: Purr-sonality stereotypes

Male cats (AKA the Tomcat) have a reputation for being more chilled out, more sociable, and less likely to hunt (if they’re the outdoor-ie type). Whether this is down to their gender or more aligned with male cats being more likely to be in a more popular breed or coat color, it’s impossible to say. But, no smoke without fire, eh! Generally, if you’re a person looking for a lap cat, a male cat might be a safe bet.

But, it also may not be! There are loads of different factors - both through nature and nurture - which can have a significant impact on how affectionate a kitty is (or decides to be). Remember, cats can change their personality at any point in their lives, or at any time of day. They love to prove us humans wrong and keep us on our toes.

What else has a significant impact on affectionate behavior?

Early socializing

As with any species of pet, socialization is a super important part of animal welfare and care. How cats perceive their surroundings and the people (and other pets) in it, is determined from a young age. If you’re a new pet parent to a kitten and you want them to be a people purr-son, then you need to make sure they slowly become comfortable with strokes and tickles and are exposed to a variety of sights, sounds, and smells. If you’ve adopted an adult cat, be aware they may take longer to adjust to affection and attention - you may not know their past, so don’t presume they're a lap cat just from their gender.

Spaying or neutering cats

We’re not here to preach the word of spay or not to spay, or list the pros and cons of neutering. However, it is im-paw-tant to know that this type of operation will have an effect on your kitty. As we’re dealing with an area that regulates cat hormones and, therefore, behavior, the removal of these ‘parts’ will mean certain behaviors will either become diluted or stop.

Paw example - unneutered cats (both intact boys and girls) are very territorial. They’re obsessed with keeping their territory, meaning they will patrol their land (whether indoors or outdoors) and keep it updated with scent smells. If they encounter another cat, a fight can often break out to defend their territory, and intact male cats are more likely to escape and wander for miles to find a mate. But, if they have ‘the snip’, some of these behaviors may reduce or stop. In fact, they can become more home-centric and can be more likely to form bonds with other cats and their people.

Similarly, female cats are known to be more aloof, cautious, and independent. But after the big op, they can become more of a lap cat or at least more interested in your day-to-day routine.

As a side note, if you’re worried about spraying - spayed or neutered cats are less likely to spray (particularly if they’re male cats), however, it doesn’t rule it out completely. Yep, even spayed female cats can spray. Sorry!

Breed

Unsurprisingly, genetics play a role in how human-centric a feline friend is. Breed greatly impacts affection, with some being widely known as velcro cats (like Siamese or Sphynx cats), while others (such as Bengals and  Egyptian Mau) are more independent and less reliant on human snuggles.

Coat color

Don’t judge a book by its cover, so don’t judge a cat by its coat color, right? Well… While a coat color doesn’t always determine the breed, it still affects their personality. Genetics make up their coat color, so occasionally traits can also be passed down from fur to fur.

For example, Tortoiseshell and Calico Cats are almost always female (we’re talking about 98% of the time), but they can still be a different breed of cat like Maine Coon or domestic shorthair. However, these coat colors also come with a few personality traits too. Let’s just say, there’s a reason tortoiseshells are known as Naughty Torties…

On the other paw, Ginger Tabbies are also not a breed, yet are mostly male and are known for their fun-loving quirks and love of human company. Ginger kitties are also a popular coat color, more so than Calicos or Torties. So, it’s easy to see how male cats can often be perceived as being more friendly if there’s more of them.

Age

Like us humans, cats tend to take things at a slower pace as they mature. Their age brings with it wisdom and a preference to observe the world rather than rampage through it. As cats begin to slow down, they may also become more likely to become lap cats, or at least become a bit more affectionate. Once the zoomies are narrowed down to just half an hour a day, you may find they’re more inclined towards some more head strokes, cuddles, and attention, regardless of their gender.

Meet our veterinary expert, Lizzie

This article has been checked by veterinarian Lizzie Youens BSc (Hons) BVSc MRCVS. Lizzie graduated from the University of Bristol in 2011, and has been working in first opinion companion animal practice. She has worked in a variety of clinics across the UK, from large hospitals to small branch practices. She enjoys doing a mixture of medicine, surgery and emergency work. Lizzie currently works in a small rural practice where she enjoys working in a close-knit community. 

What do you think: Are male cats more affectionate than females? Or are female cats more affectionate than males? Let us know your thoughts on our Community Forum and share your love (and wisdom) of cats with other feline fanatics. Not a member yet? Well, purr-use our different membership plans, see which one suits you best, and hopefully, we’ll see you in the not-too-distant future…