How to deal with pet separation anxiety

Updated 08/12/2023

Does your dog howl when you leave the house, even for a few minutes? Does your cat stop eating if you’re away for a few hours? These could be signs of separation anxiety, a common problem that many pet owners experience – and an issue that can make going on holiday a stressful prospect for both you and your pet.

But if you're wondering how to calm an anxious dog or cat, there are various ways, from counter-conditioning your pet so that it might even look forward to your departure (because it means treats) to securing a trusted pet sitter to maintain your pet’s routines while you’re away. Separation anxiety tends to be more common in dogs than in cats (or at least more easily recognised), so let’s start with our doggy friends first — what causes separation anxiety in dogs, and how do you prevent it?

What is separation anxiety in dogs?

Separation anxiety in dogs can be considered as the equivalent of a panic attack in humans — sudden feelings of fear and stress, resulting in extreme behavior. Essentially, the poor pooch becomes deadly afraid of being left on its own and misses its owner like mad.

There are numerous reasons why this might happen. Perhaps most common is that the dog has a history of being abandoned by a previous owner. If your dog came from a shelter, they might associate their owner leaving with bad things happening to them. Likewise, if the dog’s previous owner moved away or even died, your furry friend might be worried that you will leave them, too.

Other reasons for signs of separation anxiety in dogs might be related to a change in the membership of the household (like a partner leaving, or a son or daughter departing for university). Moving house and living in a new environment could also be a cause, and even a simple change in routine could result in separation anxiety in dogs. For example, during the COVID pandemic, the dog may have gotten used to you being at home, then showed signs of stress when you returned to work in an office.

Symptoms of separation anxiety in dogs

There are various signs of separation anxiety in dogs, and particular pooches may only show one or two of them. One of the most common signs is that your otherwise perfectly toilet trained pooch starts urinating and defecating on the floor when you leave the house. They might also begin barking and howling when you show signs of leaving, and continue to howl for a long time after you’ve gone.

Another common sign of separation anxiety is a tendency to chew furniture, dig excessively or otherwise destroy objects in the house. You might find the dog shows signs of trying to escape, so they may begin chewing windows, doors and fences.

Sometimes the dog will pace up and down restlessly, stop eating, or it may even demonstrate coprophagia (eating its own poo). However, it’s important to note that many of these symptoms of separation anxiety can also be signs of other problems with your dog — for example, defecating indoors could be a sign of incontinence or a side effect of medication. If you’re unsure, speak with your vet and rule out medical problems as a cause of the behavior. 

How to prevent separation anxiety in dogs

The key way to stop separation anxiety in dogs is by training them to feel comfortable being left alone while they’re still a puppy (and get clued-up on how to introduce dogs to each other before you think about a new addition to your pack). One way to do this is by training them to feel safe and secure in their crate (usually a wire cage with the pup’s bedding inside).

You can stuff your puppy’s crate full of its favorite toys and chews to make it a fun and welcoming place. Then you can begin training your pup to feel comfortable being left alone in its crate by leaving the room for a short while, then giving the pup a treat just before you step out. Gradually, you can lengthen the time you spend out of the room, and eventually your pup should feel comfortable being in its crate on its own. Remember that not all dogs will get used to being in a crate and sometimes will show signs of stress. Avoid using a crate with these dogs. 

Bear in mind though that separation anxiety isn’t preventable in the case of every dog – just like humans, every dog is different. And even a well-trained dog might begin to show signs of separation anxiety later in life, possibly triggered by a traumatic event.

Related article: How to crate train an older dog

How to treat separation anxiety in dogs

There are different ways to treat separation anxiety in dogs depending on the severity of the dog’s stress. In cases of mild separation anxiety, you can try simple counter-conditioning, whereby you train your dog to actually look forward to you leaving the house instead of previously thinking it was a negative thing. This can be done by giving your doggy friend absolutely amazing things to eat and play with just as you’re leaving the house. For example, you could give them an extra-special treat, like a rubber toy stuffed with something delicious that it will take your pooch absolutely ages to lick clean. Make sure to put all the toys away as soon as you come home: in this way, your dog may even begin to look forward to you leaving.

In more severe cases, treats like this won’t fix separation anxiety in dogs, because they may stop eating when you leave the house. If your pooch is severely stressed, you might want to contact a canine behavior therapist or a veterinary behaviorist to work out a plan for gradually reducing your pet’s fear. This could be done by leaving your dog for very short periods of time initially, perhaps even just by going into the next room or standing outside, and then gradually lengthening the time you’re away from the pooch – remembering to give him or her lots of praise each time you return.

General tips for lessening separation anxiety in dogs include:

• Creating little to no fuss when you leave the house to avoid ramping up the dog’s stress levels. This means no dramatic goodbyes or extended leaving rituals.
• Getting your dog used to seeing you put on your coat or picking up your house keys, so it no longer acts as a trigger. For example, you might pick up your keys, but then stay in the house: after a while the dog will hopefully stop seeing the keys as a warning that you’re leaving.
• Creating a comforting, confined safe space for your doggy friend, such as a room packed with toys and with a window to look out of (and without anything valuable that they could destroy). You could also leave some of your clothing in the room to remind the dog of your comforting scent, as long as they don’t eat cloth material.
• Providing the dog with lots of exercise and mental stimulation before you leave the house, like taking them on a new walking route they haven’t seen before.
• Getting a dog sitter to look after your pooch when you have to leave the house for extended periods. Most dogs with separation anxiety are simply worried about being alone, so they are comforted by having another human in the home, and the sitter can be instructed to maintain your usual routine.
• Invest in a dog anxiety vest - they provide a gentle, constant pressure that feels like a hug and promotes a sense of wellbeing, and in many cases, reduces anxiety in dogs.

What not to do

Just like humans with anxiety problems, dogs with separation anxiety do not react well to being scolded or shouted at. Punishing a distressed dog for their behavior is only likely to make things worse.

Likewise, obedience training is unlikely to help, since the unhappy pooch isn’t being disobedient, they’re just anxious and scared. Always consult a canine or veterinary behaviorist in cases of moderate to severe separation anxiety.

Signs of separation anxiety in cats and what to do about them

The signs of separation anxiety in cats are broadly similar to the signs in dogs listed above, although there are a few different behaviors to look for, such as excessive self-grooming and vomiting food or hairballs. Likewise, some of these behaviors could be linked to a medical problem, so check with a vet if you’re not sure to rule out medical problems. 

The ways to treat separation anxiety in cats are similar to separation-anxiety treatments for dogs. Namely, you should try to: 

• Minimize fuss when leaving the house.
• Get them used to cues indicating you’re leaving, such as putting on your coat, without actually leaving the house to stop them acting as a trigger.
• Create a safe, fun space for the cat to stay in with a perch where they can look out of the window
• Provide lots of toys for them to play with.
• Give them a treat or interesting toy when you leave the house, such as a toy with hard-to-extract food inside or a puzzle feeder. 
• You may want to consider the use of plug in synthetic pheromones that can help with stress. 

As with dogs, more serious cases might require advice from a feline therapist and a structured course where you leave the house for a very short time, then gradually build up to longer intervals. 

Meet our veterinary expert, Aisling

This article has been checked by veterinarian Aisling O’Keeffe MVB CertSAM ISFMCertAdvFB. Aisling qualified as a vet 7 years ago from University College Dublin. She has worked in a mixture of UK small animal hospitals along with Irish practices. She worked for 3 years in a feline-only hospital where she further developed her feline medicine and surgery skills. She currently lives and works in a small animal hospital in Cork, Ireland.

Just like humans, cats and dogs can get anxious when left alone for long periods, so it’s important we do all we can to make them feel safe and respond to their feelings of distress.

If your pets get destructive or seriously upset when you leave for long periods, a pet sitter could be a way to help them through.

And if you’re wondering - is TrustedHousesitters safe for your pet, check out our blog where you can get to know our verification process, and explore external reviews from other pet owners.

If you’re looking for a trusted dog sitter or cat sitter, head this way to find animal lovers in your area, so you can leave your home with peace of mind.